DtHL! What does that mean? It’s Dim the House Lights. You probably know that already, but what you don’t know is that the long history of that title comes from co-editor Juan listening to too much Donna Summer and co-editor Derek being far more reasonable. This, the sweet film criticism site you are now on, is our baby. We’ve spent a couple of months mulling this over and working with a great guy named Meysell who has saved our butts by making this. We hope you enjoy this semi-professional film criticism website, run by two men who you can learn more about just below.

 

Juan Barquin

Juan Barquin

Say you felt compelled to summon Juan Barquin from the firey, muggy depths of Miami, Florida, here’s how you go about doing it in case you misplaced your grimoire. Get a couple of disco balls. No, not the cheap-ass plastic shit you can get at a dollar store, he’ll hate you for that. I mean the real thing deal, preferably from an abandoned discothèque somewhere. Now grind those suckers up (don’t forget your goggles and gloves) and arrange the mirror dust into a loose pentagram shape. Now on each point of the pentagram, place the following items; a copy of Donna Summer’s 1979 LP Bad Girls, a bottle of red wine, an issue of the Brian Azzarelo run of Wonder Woman, the DistribPix Blu-ray restoration of Radley Metzger’s The Opening of Misty Beethoven, and a wheel of good brie. When he appears Candyman-style, be sure to ask him about his gigs at Miami New Times, YAM Magazine & FIU’s Beacon. (Letterboxd/Twitter)

Derek Godin

Derek Godin

There’s a legend that claims that the son born of the loins of a Steely Dan member and Rush member would rise to the throne of Film Critic some day. Naturally, this is a false legend, but Derek Godin rose to the throne anyway and loves the aforementioned bands. His love for “Dad Rock” is nothing compared to his love for films, to the point where those who know him affectionately call him “The Master.” The reason? Well, it’s because he actually has a Masters in Film Studies, and one heck of a thesis on cult cinema. This is the kind of guy who wishes The Disaster Artist was around when he was writing about The Room in depth, yo. That’s true passion right there; a passion that is only matched by a love of hockey, classic rock, and hobos with shotguns. Before you know it, he’s gonna slice the ice and hit you with his best shot, and by shot I mean smooth writing. (Letterboxd/Twitter/Portfolio)